IS SUBMISSION IN MARRIAGE ONE GENDER SPECIFIC?
According to the Oxford dictionary, submission is the action of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another. Notice that this definition does not mention any gender.
Traditionally, men have always been known to be the ones winning the bread and heading the choicest of positions in the corporate world and bringing home everything that the woman needs and because of this, men automatically became the authority to which women submit to in the homes and even in the offices. It seemed that women’s voices were suppressed, and they were just meant to be at the beck and call of men. Men assumed the role of the one in authority and to whom everyone submits.
The world we live in has changed drastically and it is no longer the time when only men are winning the bread because women are now doing the same and heading choice positions in the corporate and business world which goes to show that both genders now possess authority sort of, and submission can occur both ways. The saying “what a man can do, a woman can do even better” is now very evident.
Please don’t get me wrong, this is not to support or antagonize any gender but to reiterate that submission is not to be one-sided and is not to favour the man more than the woman.
The scripture “Wives submit to your husband” in my opinion, has not been interpreted correctly on several occasion as men always use that bible verse to assert superiority or authority over women, however, this is not what the scripture means.
According to the word of God below, which is our standard as children of God:
Spirit-Guided Relationships: Wives and Husbands: Ephesians 5:21-26 NLT
21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.
25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word
The above word of God has been quoted out of context severally and men have tried to use the scripture to their advantage as well as subject women to submission because this is what the bible says. The bible says this, but it is important that we interpret the bible correctly.
The verse 21 is usually ignored while emphasis is placed on just the first few lines of verse 22 “Wives submit to your husband”, however, looking at verses 21-26, God is saying that submission should be to one another out of reverence (great respect, admiration, worship etc) for God (another translation says “as you do to the Lord”). Submission is not to the man because he is wealthier, has more power or is in a higher position, has more knowledge than the woman or because he is the head of the home, but the submission is to one another as both (husband and wife) submit to God. When we see it as submission to God, it will be easier to accept or yield to one another in everything and ultimately to God and build up a Godly home.
Joseph according to Genesis 39:9 “No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God” saw his master’s wife request as sin against God and fled. This is because Joseph’s submission was first and foremost to God and then his master, hence his statement.
If we see all that we do as unto the Lord, it will make us as husband and wife submit to one another, not acting selfishly but being selfless and the children following suit. Submission is not to lord over the wife or husband, but it calls for communication, co-operation, collaboration, commitment between husband and wife and God which helps to build a Godly home, church, community and Nation. From the scripture above, verses 22-26 clearly explains what submission mean to the woman and man, so it’s not one sided. It may not be easy for a husband who has not submitted to the Lord Jesus Christ, to command submission from the wife. A husband’s submission to God is what will earn the wife’s submission to the husband. The husband’s submission to the wife is geared towards loving his wife as Christ loved the Church and gave His life for her.
Submission is not specific to one gender, but both the husband and wife are enjoined by the word of God to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. It is not about one-party taking advantage of the other in the name of submission. When we act on God’s words in our marriages/homes, it gives the children and people around hope that marriages do work.
God bless You
Sis Gbeminiyi Erharbor